‘Twas the Night before Christmas, when all through the world
I dreamt about travelling, where adventure unfurled
My suitcase was packed by the doorway with care
Knowing an airport limo soon would be there
My tour group was also all snug in their beds,
While visions of Pyramids danced in their heads
Passport, sunblock and a well-thumbed map
Tucked next to my camera and baseball cap
When from my alarm clock there arose such a sound
I sprang from my slumber and my feet hit the ground
This year I’ll be skipping my usual Christmas
An extended vacation tops my holiday wish-list
No family visits, it’s adventure galore
From Moscow to Mumbai, Melbourne and more
To the North Pole and South Pole and spots in between
Far-off locales that I’ve never seen
I bid farewell to the new-fallen snow
Off to tour countries where the sun’s all aglow
When what to my jet-lagged eyes did appear
But a jolly old man with eight sleepy reindeer
“Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!”
The gifts are delivered, now it’s time for relaxin’!
The missus and I shall climb the Great Wall
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!”
Without his red suit on, he was at first glance a stranger
But I saw his eyes twinkle and knew I wasn’t in danger
Seemed the Clauses and I, we had Around the World plane tix
(For a ‘round the globe tour, without that sleigh of St. Nick’s!)
And there in the airport I heard on the roof
The leisurely patter of each retired hoof
To heck with the presents, children and elves
We’ve got the rest of the winter all to ourselves!
So where are you headed? I asked and he said,
“I shall swim in the Med, where my beard I shall shed
It will make me anonymous on my London pub crawl—
Though the beard would be handy when I visit Nepal
Mrs. Claus turned and said My dear you’re mistaken
Clubbing and climbing is not a vacation
I’ll snorkel and sunbathe, oh what joy!
Perhaps what I need is an attentive pool boy
The ocean it twinkles, swimming so merry!
Enjoy surf and sunshine, don’t get burnt like a cherry!
Without further ado, a-travelling we’ll go!
We’ll get a cabana with sand white as snow
Oh Santa she said, let tradition unravel,
Instead of gift-giving– tell people to travel!
Exotic foods, margaritas could fill everyone’s belly
Instead of overcooked ham and sour aspic jelly
A spring in his step, he gave the porter a whistle
They took off so fast, like the speed of a missile
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good FLIGHT!”